angst

Anyone know of a good deal for anger suppression course, please kindly let me know.

 I hate it especially I was treated like an idiot. A complete idiot. Just because I am green doesn’t mean I do not go an extra mile to understand the most. If you have no freaking idea how much effort did I go through to pull everything together, how much internal war that I have to fight before I ensure that work is churned out on time, how much thinking that I’ve to go through. When all these effort are put in, don’t shaft me aside with, “Are you sure you have thought it thoroughly? Are you sure about all these facts?” Don’t doubt me is the least I hope, and I would also appreciate that you don’t TREAT ME LIKE a useless piece of junk!

 Ever since I stepped into the dark side as many calls it, I start to hate myself. Hate myself for the need to lie through my teeth just to ensure the work flow is not jammed up, hate myself to have to argue, fight, make people cry just to prove that I’m not a major push-over and prevent from being a door mat and get tramped all over, hate myself for being so anal about the finest details that is unnecessary and hate myself to cry over the smallest pay increment of $200.

 It’s also in this cat fighting environment that I’ve evolved from a harmless being to a defensive bitch. Because I have to survive here, I have to brave myself, put on all the amour and ready to take on any guns that is raging at the other side of the wall.

 Often looking forward to any major holidays, weekends and time which I can spend with my dear friends and bubs when I can take off all these shields and speak in comfort. Only if I can take everything as a pinch of salt and disregard any comments people make on me; turning on deaf ears to the worst gossip about myself, that I can survive happily in this industry. 

Only if…..